Denis: Zzzzzz, finding the best ways of getting sleep

Oct 16 2009 by Linzi Nicholson, Huddersfield Daily Examiner

MY wife Maria has difficulty getting to sleep.

What can I do to help her drift off to dreamland, I asked, short of hitting her over the head with a mallet.

Audrey Hunter, of Kirkheaton, suggests a nip of Benylin cough mixture. “It has a soothing effect straight away and I’m soon asleep.”

Tom Carlile, of Shelley Park, says, “As a musician I often come home late, high on adrenalin and can’t sleep.” He offers a more cerebral remedy.

“First, the alphabet. Start with two towns in Britain for each letter. Aberdeen, Andover, Bristol, Bolton … Carry on to the end. Only Q and Z will faze you.

“If this fails, try cities around the world. Adelaide, Amsterdam … this time, Maria will even get the Qs and Zs. Failing this, try boys and girls names. Alan, Andrew, Alice, Andrea … I guarantee this will send her to sleep.”

That may be so, but I’m still trying to work out my Qs and Zs … how about Quebec (County Durham) and Quorn (Leicestershire)? And Zouch (it’s near Loughborough) and can I have Zion Street in Ossett instead of a town?

But please don’t get me going on places beginning with X.