Denis Kilcommons: Those were the days . . .

Oct 19 2009 by Denis Kilcommons

WE were born before TV, penicillin, frozen foods, videos and the pill . . .

So starts one of the many paeans of praise dedicated to those who were born in past decades. They compare old time hardships and realities with present day sophistication and the nanny state and always end with “yet we survived”.

Pauline Kitchen, of Mirfield, has sent me a version for those born before 1940 that includes a few bits I hadn’t seen before which I thought were amusing enough to pass on.

“We lived before credit cards, split atoms, laser beams and ballpoint pens, before dishwashers, tumble dryers, electric blankets, air conditioning and before man walked on the moon.

“We got married first and then lived together. We thought fast food was what you ate in Lent, and a Big Mac was an oversized raincoat. We existed before house husbands and computer dating. Sheltered accommodation was where you waited for a bus.

“A stud was something that fastened a collar to a shirt, going all the way meant staying on the bus until it reached the terminus. Cigarette smoking was fashionable, grass was mown, coke was kept in the coalhouse, a joint was a piece of meat you ate on Sundays and pot was something you cooked it in.

“There were four grades of toilet paper – The Radio Times, Daily Despatch, Daily Herald and the local paper. A money box was called the gas meter. People had a toilet outside their home and ate their meals inside the home. The recycling unit was the rag and bone man, an alarm clock was the knocker-up and debt and illegitimacy were secrets.

“We who were born before 1940 must be a hardy bunch when you think of the way in which the world has changed and the adjustments we have had to make. No wonder there is a generation gap today but, by the Grace of God, we have survived.”

A knocker-up? Can I say that?