Denis: Aliens exist and they support Man United

Feb 22 2010 By Denis Kilcommons

MORE than 6,000 pages of UFO reports covering the period from 1994 to 2000 have been released by the Ministry of Defence.

They showed a whole range of experiences that had been detailed by members of the public.

One described a spacecraft they had seen as being like a flying Toblerone which must have appealed to all those with a sweet tooth.

"I did not break my diet. I was abducted by aliens and made to eat lots of honey and almond nougat covered in Swiss chocolate. That’s why I’m 18 stone."

Or the chap who was caught in an extra terrestrial beam of light and came out in the sort of skin rash you might get if you spent too long under a sun lamp. Or maybe he had spent too long under a sun lamp.

I had to sympathise with the man who phoned the police to report an alien was sitting on his bed. Why was he not surprised when they dismissed him as a nutter?

Experts who have studied the reports point out that the shapes of unidentified flying objects have changed over the years in the same way in which they have been portrayed in science fiction films and on television.

Back in the 1950s they were mostly described as flying saucers. This latest batch of reports say the craft are more like those seen in X Files and the film Independence Day which, quite coincidentally, were shown during the same period.

This is a bit of a spoilsport attitude. To dismiss the possibility of alien spaceships or life on other planets has to be the height of arrogance.

Our galaxy is a speck of sand in the infinity of the universe. Other worlds are out there – it’s just a matter of time.

And I like to think that the crew of one of those exploratory ships logged by the MOD have become Manchester United fans.

A police officer reported one UFO hovering over the Chelsea football ground of Stamford Bridge on the evening of March 10, 1999.

The crew must have been impressed as Manchester United beat their arch enemies 2-0.

United rules! Even in Alpha Centauri.

l THERE was a shortage of helicopter pilots in the army so Mark and Ben took an intensive training course. Mark was at the controls on his first solo flight with Ben alongside him. "If I turn this helicopter upside down, do you think we’ll fall out?" he said.

"Of course not, Mark," said Ben. "We’ll always be friends."