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Denis: America change! Yes we can

THE recession is still biting deep in America.Read

Denis: America is so polite

AMERICA is a polite country.Read

Denis: Hang on, draw and quarters as US soccer season starts

THE new soccer season will start soon in the United States but the Seattle Sounders got down to training without their star player Freddie Ljungberg, who used to play for Arsenal.Read

Denis: Answers to puzzling questions

MY niece Natalie is studying for a nursing degree and came back from college after taking a chemistry test.Read

Denis: Home of the Bikini Baristas

THE community of Home on the Key Peninsula was founded in 1893 by settlers who believed people should be allowed to do as they pleased as long as their actions didn’t hurt anyone else. The town’s proud boast was that it had no church, no saloon and no policeman.Read

Denis: Highway patrols and dolls

WE are staying in Gig Harbour on the Key Peninsula which is the sort of rural picturesque area where a Stephen King could set a novel. It’s one of the numerous towns and communities built around the creeks, inlets, islands and waterways of the Puget Sound on the Pacific coast.Read

Denis: Give me age before beauty on a 10-hour flight

MAYBE I’m getting smaller with age but the seats on the Delta Airbus 330 on which we crossed the Atlantic seemed bigger and more comfortable than previously.Read

Denis: Flying suits all styles

“SILLY old so-and-so,” said Maria. “Fancy getting dressed up like that.Read

Denis: Over the hill and far away with Yorkshire jokes

THEY say you never need to ask someone if they are a Yorkshireman.Read

Denis: Are cruise ship dollars for Haiti the answer?

A STORY to make you think this week was the report that luxury cruise liners were still visiting Haiti.Read

Denis: Give me credit on my mobile phone moan!

I'M amazed people are so diffident when they talk to an answerphone. I discovered this while trying to erase all the messages from mine.Read

Denis: The appliance of the obvious

A TEAM of psychologists at the University of Rochester in New York has come to the conclusion that people are happier at weekends.Read

Denis: Maid in America needs Made in England

WEATHER permitting, we are off to visit relatives on the west coast of America later this week.Read

Denis: Tyke-ing the mick

BLAME it all on reader Margaret Halford from Germany. She sent me a load of Yorkshire jokes and, yes, some of them may be old, but they are classics.Read

Denis: I prefer a hello to BOGOF

ONE thing this last month of bad weather will have done is send people back to those corner shops and local supermarkets they usually avoid when they can drive to Sainsbury’s.Read

Denis: Jar opening contest is on a knife-edge

I HAD a problem opening a food jar. It refused to twist off as instructed and I had to stab it to death to get at the contents.Read

Denis: Could you be a lord of the trance?

I HAD to smile when I read that a newly-trained hypnotist accidentally put himself into a trance for five hours.Read

Denis: Haiti – a tragedy leaving total despair

NOW 50,000 are feared dead in Haiti after the Caribbean nation suffered its worst earthquake in 120 years.Read

Denis: Was it worth a Bolero dance?

THE older I get, the dafter I get. The dog shows more sense and she’s 98 in canine years.Read

Denis: Recycling the liners

HERE is a final footnote to the history of the trans-Atlantic liners of yesteryear.Read