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Denis: Sense over discipline in schools

AT last. A hint of common sense. Read

Denis: Old Smoothies to the fore please

THERE I was, hoping to be a late entry in the British Smoothie Championship in London. Read

Denis: Well, that’s one way to go about things . . .

A POLL found the secret of a happy marriage is four hugs a day and periods of quality time, such as going for a walk or sharing a romantic meal. Read

Denis: Now here’s my magical young Harry

GOOD grief, Harry Potter writer J K Rowling earns a Lottery win every week. Read

Denis: A Robert the Bruce bathroom moment

AN encounter with a spider this morning made me think of conservation. I had brushed my teeth and shaved and was about to take a shower when I noticed the spider that was as large as a lavatory brush sitting in the bath. Read

Denis: Humour in its infancy

FROM the mouths of children often come hilarious truths and misconceptions. The ones that follow, all from youngsters under the age of five, have been sent by a reader: Read

Denis: British justice – this way the future lies

A LIE detector has been developed that, claims its makers, is 97% accurate. It monitors changes in the brain during the formulation of a lie. Read

Hilarie: So, why does the cat drink out of the loo?

IF YOU’VE ever wondered why your cat will drink out of the toilet, dirty puddle, garden pond, in fact anywhere except the clean bowl provided in the kitchen, then I have the answer for you. Read

Denis: Checking out the Swedes’ answer

‘Reasons for drinking too much in past centuries were poverty and a harsh life’ Read

Denis: Greek roots of everyday vocabulary

THE greatest influences in English come from the ancient languages of Greece and Latin. Read

Denis: Fancy being lovely Jan’s new toyboy?

IS it only ladies who fib about their age? Read

Denis: Nothing new about ‘loathsome’ booze

THE consumption of alcohol is a major national issue because of its cost in health, crime, violence and damage. Street corner yobs who get smashed on two litre bottles of strong cider are both a rural and urban danger. Read

Denis: Tourists ask the silliest questions

THE silly things that tourists say caused a few titters last week, so here are some more. For some reason, many seem to involve Americans who often display a delightful naivety when they travel abroad. Read

Denis: The Swedish way to save our dying pubs

SIX pubs a day are closing in Britain, says the Beer and Pub Association. Read

Denis: Roller coaster of love

THE news that a roller coaster ride could boost feelings of love is of no use to me. Read

Denis: I’m getting to the crotch of the matter

THERE I am, one minute banging on about the importance of the English language and how we should go to war to keep apostrophes sacrosanct, and the next I’m getting the basics wrong. Read

Denis: That lottery win: in your dreams, mate

THE chance of winning the Euro Lottery is a staggering one in 76 million. Read

Denis: Something fishy about today

DID you hear about the man who went into a fish and chip shop with a salmon under his arm? Read

Denis: There’s a word for we hypochondriacs

EVERYBODY must have done it. You get a twinge or tummy ache or a pulled muscle in your chest and start worrying you are ill. Next thing, you are deep in a medical dictionary or looking it up on the internet and discover you are suffering from rabies, the first stages of plague and a type of irritable bowel syndrome than usually proves fatal and there are still 20 things to do before you die. Read