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Denis: Seaside visit? Don't bank on it!

IT’S Bank Holiday Monday and I am staying away from the seaside, avoiding public places, DIY stores or anywhere I might get stuck in traffic or caught in a rain shower while wearing only shorts, vest and knotted hankie. Read

Friends, Romans, countrymen and alphabets

A READER writes: “It's taken me 81 years to realise that our 26 letters are based on the first two letters of the Greek alphabet, i.e. Alpha, beta. Am I alone in this or is it something I should have known from almost birth?” Read

It’s so tough up in the North – not!

PARDON me if this reads as if it was written in a rush but I’m in the middle of packing. Don’t want to be at the back of the queue for the train South, do I? Read

Heavy duty reporting

I WAS channel hopping with the TV remote the other evening and found myself watching a large Chinese woman heave 25 stone above her head in the clean and jerk to win a weightlifting gold medal at the Olympics. Read

Donte ful me, amigo

ELAINE from Rastrick wondered if I could read Spanish. Actually, no, but I thought I would give it a go anyway. Here’s the message she sent. See how you make out: Read

Senior citizens deserve new deal

THE old age pension is 100 years old. Back in 1908, it was 5s a week and only paid to those over 70 who passed a character test. Read

Sweet memories of ‘comic’ superheroes

WILSON of the Wizard was a mysterious Yorkshireman who was born in 1795 and made his track debut at the 1938 British Athletics Championships at the age of 143. Read

Rocking sofa advert has me hooked

I DON’T want a new sofa but I must admit I have been hooked by the current DFS advert that has a whole group of people of different ages miming and playing air guitar to the anthem I Wanna Be A Rockstar. Read

How to be a jolly good sport

I HAD a good old rant about the Olympic Games. Read

Just occasionally I’m glad if things drop off

PERHAPS it’s my age but I’ve been getting a little health conscious. Read

Brian put me close to Kylie

THERE I was, writing about the theory of six degrees of separation. You know, where you can connect to anyone else on the planet through six other people in a chain of acquaintance? Read

It’s music to voters’ ears

REPUBLICAN John McCain will be using a country rock song called Raisin’ McCain by John Rich as a campaign anthem in his bid to reach the White House. Read

Now I've won £546,480

REMEMBER that Lisa O’Brien received an email saying she had won £546,480 on the E-Lottery? Read

It's too late to stop my ageing!

SCIENTISTS at Stanford University in America may have found the secret of immortality. Or at least how to live a long time and still look good. Read

That's heavy holiday reading

WHEN I take a break my holiday reading includes thrillers, historical novels, maybe a comedy. Something light in which to wallow and escape. Read

Have you met my good friend Kylie?

THE six degrees of separation is a theory that has long fascinated me. Read

It’s just human nature!

A READER sent these recorded conversations of customers who phoned a call centre: Read

Fortune for ‘lucky’ Lisa!

LISA O’Brien was pleased but surprised to receive an email saying she had won £546,480 on the E-Lottery. Read

And now here are all our futures . . .

HERE is the news for next year. We can look forward to green initiatives in January about plans to extract heat from the Earth’s core. Read

So not down in the mouth, then?

SCIENTISTS at Leeds Dental Institute have created a solution that can repair holes in teeth naturally and without the need for drilling and filling. Read