Huddersfield Examiner - Columnists - Grumpy Young Man

Grumpy Young Man: The home electricals make-to-break rip-off

Huddersfield Examiner — Fri, 11 May 2012 23:00:00 GMT

SOMEWHERE, deep in the bowels of every electrical home goods manufacturer, is a department so insidious it doesn’t officially exist.

Grumpy Young Man: A fantasy supermarket stroll in a parallel universe

Huddersfield Examiner — Fri, 11 May 2012 23:00:00 GMT

AS I tucked into a predictably bland supermarket satsuma – described on the packaging as ‘sweet and juicy’ – the cogs of my mind starting spinning.

Grumpy Young Man: British customer service could learn a lot from our American cousins

Huddersfield Examiner — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 23:00:00 GMT

WE say tomato, they say ‘toe-may-doh’.

Grumpy Young Man: The phenomenon of gap-toothed models

Huddersfield Examiner — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 23:00:00 GMT

EVEN if you’re a champion advert avoider like me you’ll still have noticed the relatively sudden appearance of gap-toothed models gracing our screens and billboards.

Grumpy Young Man: When something’s so bad it becomes good

Huddersfield Examiner — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 00:00:00 GMT

IN the USA there is a beer that was previously enjoyed by the lower echelons of American society.

Grumpy Young Man: I’d like to find the toerag behind those automated spam calls

Huddersfield Examiner — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 00:00:00 GMT

EVERY day at roughly the same time the phone belonging to my fellow Examiner columnist Barry Gibson rings.

Grumpy Young Man: You can’t complain if your flight cost £20

Huddersfield Examiner — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 00:00:00 GMT

BEFORE I joined the pale blue and grey-shirted world of journalism I used to play guitar in a slightly more colourful punk band.

Grumpy Young Man: Emasculated by a pair of windscreen wipers

Huddersfield Examiner — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 00:00:00 GMT

MY Dad was spectacularly bad at DIY.

Grumpy Young Man: The joy of the mute button

Huddersfield Examiner — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 09:57:00 GMT

IF Harold MacMillan had been lent a large LCD telly and a Freeview box he’d probably come out with a variation on his most quoted phrase.

Grumpy Young Man: Enforced New Year fun is like the funeral of Kim Jong-il

Huddersfield Examiner — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

WHEN despot Kim Jong-il popped his tyrannical clogs the entire people of North Korea melted into a quivering mass of hysterical bawling.

Grumpy Young Man: The spray that makes driving fines go away

Huddersfield Examiner — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

A PERSONALISED number plate is God’s way of telling people they have too much money.

Grumpy Young Man: Christmas tunes that drive you crackers

Huddersfield Examiner — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 00:00:00 GMT

MY GIRLFRIEND used to work on the tills at a city centre supermarket.

Grumpy Young Man: No Christmas gifts, thanks. I'm Jewish

Huddersfield Examiner — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 00:00:00 GMT

BEING Jewish has many advantages. But it’s at Christmas where I am most able to enjoy my Semitic roots.

Grumpy Young Man: Dawn of the pyjama-wearing dead arrives

Huddersfield Examiner — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 00:00:00 GMT

SPEAKING of laziness and reverse evolution, many of you will have spotted a relatively new slob phenomenon.

Grumpy Young Man: The ready sliced onion spells signals a u-turn for evolution

Huddersfield Examiner — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 00:00:00 GMT

HAUNTING the supermarket shelves is an item which could signal a u-turn for evolution.

Grumpy Young Man: What will the museums of the future be like?

Huddersfield Examiner — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 23:00:00 GMT

THEY’RE the ugly remnants of Britain’s grim past but we can’t stop slapping conservation orders on them.

Grumpy Young Man: The adventures of waiting in the drunk tank

Huddersfield Examiner — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 23:00:00 GMT

BEING injured isn’t fun. Being injured to the point where you need medical attention is even less enjoyable because, in all likelihood, it hurts and, secondly, you’ll have to go to accident and emergency (A&E). And nobody enjoys being admitted to A&E.

Grumpy Young Man: Fried aborigine, anyone?

Huddersfield Examiner — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 23:00:00 GMT

WE’RE planning a trip to Australia next year and to get us in the mood we visited this restaurant.

Grumpy Young Man: There’s a word for the festival experience – ‘squalor’

Huddersfield Examiner — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 23:00:00 GMT

I’M in a soggy field. My knees are buckling under me from standing up for five hours.

Grumpy Young Man: Comedy career awaits Gaddafi’s spokesman

Huddersfield Examiner — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 23:00:00 GMT

YOU have to feel sorry for Moussa Ibrahim.