THERE has been an allotment-related disaster this week, largely related to the fact that I have never seen patience as a virtue and planted out a shed-load of seedlings three weekends ago.

We went up to water the vegetable babies on Wednesday evening, only to discover that all of the beans, most of the sweetcorn and practically all our potatoes are frost damaged.

The Man-in-Charge says it’s entirely my fault.

But he did glean some amusement from the situation when one of our fellow plotters, who just happens to be his former boss, wandered over and pointed to the wilting beans on the next door allotment.

“Huh,” he said. “He’s been a bit stupid to put those in so early.”

And then I pointed to mine.

Last year I got away with an early planting, despite dire warnings from the surrounding elderly, more experienced and more patient plotters, who were heard to mutter, incredulously, “he’s planted his beans!” (For some reason there’s an assumption that planting out is a manly occupation).

But this year I have been well and truly nobbled.

Of course, it was the unseasonably hot weather that did it, luring me into a false sense of security.

I went a bit mad, planting plenty of other stuff too, dwarf beans and pea seedlings, along with rash sowings of beetroot, pak choi and lettuce.

We’ve been making daily watering trips to keep them alive but it has all been to no avail.

Something has been nibbling the peas and beans - creating neat little serrated patterns around the edges of the leaves - and what these pests haven’t killed has been seen off by Jack Frost. All I can say is that it’s a good job I’ve still got my little plastic greenhouse and seeds are relatively cheap because now I’ve got to start all over again.

As I keep saying, it’s just a good job we’re not medieval peasants dependent on our little feudal strip of land or we’d now be subsisting on dandelions and the rabbit’s hutch would have long since been vacated.

Have I learned my lesson?

I doubt it. Next April I’ll be eagerly planting seeds once more because as well as being impatient I’m also an optimist.