John: How we learned to mind our language

Jan 21 2010 by John Avison, Huddersfield Daily Examiner

This is the logic of demand and hard commerce, and it applies to almost Western world enterprise.

Very few regional newspapers now employ Readers, that final safety net before the presses roll, the grumpy word-nerd saviours of many an over-enthusiastic reporter.

Part of my job is to forage in our archives, and I have to tell you that the Examiners of 1880, or 1940, or 1970 were not without their howlers.

Even the Readers were human, it seems.

Sub-editors have always lived in fear of getting it wrong, or making a ghastly double-entendre, and that’s just what happens.

The bigger the typeface, the more likely something is to go awry. It’s a form of Sod’s Law, or, as we subs are wont to say, Lod’s Saw.

In the back of every sub-editor’s mind are the headlines that should never have been written – and in fact, may never have been written.

They include: Churchill (or Monty) Flies Back To Front; ; and Giant Waves Down Queen Mary’s Funnel.

One of my personal favourites is an alleged double mistake in the obituary column of the Times a few years back.

‘In yesterday’s edition, we incorrectly stated that Colonel X, who died last week, was ‘battle-scared’. This, of course, should have read ‘bottle-scarred’.

No it shouldn’t. Did they apologise for the second error, I wonder? I suppose they would have had to.

Other headlines, reproduced in last August’s issue of Word magazine included:

Prostitutes appeal to Pope; Miners refuse to work after death; Juvenile court to try shooting defendant; and Hospitals sued by 7 foot doctors.

It’s a glorious language, but the pitfalls are many.