WORKING with words can be tricky as we hacks are only too aware.

This collection of notices shows that there is many a trap for the unwary.

‘Toilet out of order. Please use floor below’ is open to interpretation.

Seen in a laundromat – and elsewhere for at least a century in one version or another – is ‘automatic washing machines – please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.’

How about ‘bargain basement upstairs’, allegedly spotted in a London department store?

The next is just silly: ‘Would the person who took the ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.’

‘After the tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.’

I wonder if anyone was tempted by this offer outside a second hand shop?

‘We exchange anything – bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a bargain?’

Punctuation would have helped in this safari park notice:

‘Elephants please stay in your car’

Spotted at a conference: ‘For anyone who has children and doesn’t know it, there is a day care centre on the first floor.’

I was once told to use the internet to find out how to get back online, and this leaflet has a similar message: ‘If you can’t read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.’

Charity begins at home. So should repairs.

‘We can repair anything,’ it said on the shop door. ‘Please knock hard – the bell doesn’t work.’