Huddersfield Examiner - Columnists - Wilf Lunn

Wilf: Present incidents and stuff from the past

Huddersfield Examiner — Fri, 21 May 2010 23:00:00 GMT

Here is the last in the current series of columns by Wilf. He is taking a break to concentrate on the next stage of his autobiography

Wilf: getting my teeth into the subject of science

Huddersfield Examiner — Fri, 14 May 2010 23:00:00 GMT

WHEN I was at junior school some of my fellow pupils were from the local orphanage.

Wilf: Spiralling memories on the way to great art

Huddersfield Examiner — Fri, 07 May 2010 23:00:00 GMT

I INADVERTENTLY came across a prance of Morris men in Huddersfield the other day.

Wilf: What was the lyric of that old song again?

Huddersfield Examiner — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 23:00:00 GMT

ONCE again we were off back down – or up to – London if you prefer. We stayed at our usual hotel.

Wilf: Happy days when the teachers were armed

Huddersfield Examiner — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 23:00:00 GMT

I NEVER trained to be a teacher. Back in the 1960s they were so short of staff they’d set anyone on.

Wilf: Medical memories

Huddersfield Examiner — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 23:00:00 GMT

MY Dad’s profound deafness was caused by measles. If vaccination had been available then perhaps he’d have been spared.

Wilf: All the way to Bradford a glimpse of Honeysuckle

Huddersfield Examiner — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 23:00:00 GMT

ONCE again we set out for the bright lights of Bradford to see Honeysuckle Weeks in Witness For The Prosecution.

Wilf: ‘We looked over and burst out laughing’

Huddersfield Examiner — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 08:29:00 GMT

OUR old dog Timmy could double-think. To amuse visitors I would do an old sleight of hand trick with his doggie treats.

Wilf: Objects which are a window to another world

Huddersfield Examiner — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 00:00:00 GMT

I’M fascinated by objects that speak to you. What do I mean by this?

Wilf: Grand tea, a concert, pork pies and a tin of prunes

Huddersfield Examiner — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 00:00:00 GMT

I WAS apprehensive when we called in our local butchers in case Russell let slip I’d been known to nip in his shop for an illicit pork pie in my effort to fight the anorexia.

Wilf Lunn: Maybe fish are not as daft as we think

Huddersfield Examiner — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 00:00:00 GMT

AS you all know, those born on March 20th have the star sign of Pisces the fish.

Wilf: I’m so groovy man!

Huddersfield Examiner — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 00:00:00 GMT

I WAS in one of the towns many coffee shops when I noticed a little girl looking at me. I thought not another one thinking I’m Santa which of course is better than the guy who called me Mister Pastry.

Wilf: Why I won’t be appearing on Come Dine With Me

Huddersfield Examiner — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 00:00:00 GMT

I WAS approached to do the television show, Come Dine With Me.

Wilf Lunn: A trip down memory lane into Bratford

Huddersfield Examiner — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

I HAD to stand in Sainsbury’s while waiting for Liz because the old gimmers bench was fully sat upon. I was disgruntled.

Wilf: It doesn’t matter what colour the egg is on the outside – it’s just the same on the inside

Huddersfield Examiner — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

REMEMBER the lines from the Carpenter’s song: “Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me they long to be close to you.’’

Wilf Lunn: Why I've got bang head

Huddersfield Examiner — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

bull riders.

Wilf: A great show ... now what was it all about?

Huddersfield Examiner — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 09:49:00 GMT

QUITE a while ago we booked to see Cirque du Soleil at the Royal Albert Hall.

Wilf: We’re being upgraded - again!

Huddersfield Examiner — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

LAST week we went to London via Wakefield through Doncaster.

Wilf: Snow memory

Huddersfield Examiner — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

SNOW MEMORY !963 It’s now fifty years since the M1 opened. In 1963, prior to New Years Eve, Angus and myself decided we’d hitch hike down the A1 road to London. There we intended to do the traditional jump in the fountain at Piccadilly Circus . It was so cold the driver of the unheated truck that picked us up couldn’t see through the windscreen. He kept having to stop and I would get out and rub the glass with the only thing I had, my hanky and sun tan oil. Why did I have suntan oil? Redheads live in dread of sun burn and we were going south. We were not worldly wise and we discovered on getting to Piccadilly Circus that there isn’t a fountain. We got the wrong spot we should have been in Trafalgar Square. Anyway it was freezing cold so we decided it was a bad idea and set off to hitch hike back home. We headed for the A1. It was snowing really very heavily. Because I wanted to fit in the London scene. I’d brought my umbrella with me. This protected my head but unfortunately I was wearing my best six guinea Bally, chisel toed, elastic sided, boots. The snow was so deep it was packed up the inside of my trouser legs. The road was thick with snow you couldn’t see the lanes. There was a wavy single track where some cars had struggled through. We didn’t see any traffic until a skidding police car pulled up and we were told hitch hikers were not allowed. We argued we always hitch hiked on the A1. They said we weren’t on the A1 we were on the M1. and to get off the road. They drove off. We couldn’t do anything but struggle on. It was a terrible trek. Occasionally a car would pick us up for a short distance. We’d take shelter at a service station overnight. There we met other stranded people. One guy tried to convince us he had a great business opportunity. It was to buy all, the now redundant Christmas trees, cheap and sell them to Burmese people whom he insisted had their Christmas later. He also insisted that after a hydrogen bomb was dropped radiation was harmless because it went above the clouds and couldn’t come back down. We pointed out this was completely wrong we knew because we’d read it. He replied by saying you couldn’t believe what you read. He’d read Alice in Wonderland and he didn’t believe a word. The chap was wearing a complete dark green bus conductors uniform. When I inquired about this he said he’d been sacked from his job and it was all he had to wear. While this bizarre conversation was going on a scrawny fellow asked if we could give him a cigarette. We pointed out we were fagless and broke. Later in the night he came over and gave us a cig each. Turned out he’d flogged his overcoat. Such is the desperation of the smoking addict and the camaraderie of the road. We were on that road for two days and ended up lost in Coventry. All the direction signs seemed to be missing. It was probably a left over from the war to confuse the Germans if they invaded. I often wonder if I’ve been on the wrong road ever since.

Wilf: ‘I often wonder if I’ve been on the wrong road’

Huddersfield Examiner — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

IT’S now fifty years since the M1 opened. In 1963, prior to New Year’s Eve, Angus and myself decided we’d hitch-hike down the A1 road to London.