Halifax Comedy Festival is just weeks away.

To get you in the mood for some rib-tickling stand-up, theatre, workshops and more, we've round a few proper Yorkshire jokes.

Stand-up at Halifax Comedy Festival
Stand-up at Halifax Comedy Festival

We know there's a fair few funny folk in Yorkshire — and we're not just talking about Bob Mortimer, Vic Reeves, Michael Palin, Leigh Francis (you may know him as Keith Lemon) and Michael Palin, who all hail from God's own country.

So warm up your funny bone for the festival (which begins October 23) with some reyt Northern humour.

Here's some reyt good Yorkshire jokes:

  • What time do cafes open in Barnsley? Summat to ayt!

  • Mamma Mia: classic ABBA song or a Yorkshire kid telling his mum he's arrived?

  • Jane Fonda comes to Huddersfield to give an aerobics class for all the well-to-do ladies.
    "OK ladies," she says, "let's start with a warm-up. Hands on thighs!"
    And the ladies, in unison, put their hands over their eyes!

  • When I were a lad we 'ad a Christmas pudding that were SO big we 'ad t'cook it in t'bath tub. I should know — I was in t'bath at t'time!

  • Wrigleys have launched a new website where you can order chewing gum online. It's called ebuygum.com!

  • A Yorkshireman's wife sadly passes away. He decides to have the words 'She Were Thine' engraved on her headstone.
    He calls the mason, explains what he wants, then goes to see the stone a few days later. He takes one look and to his horror, finds the mason has engraved 'She Were Thin'.
    He yells: "The blummin' 'e' is missing! Where's the 'e'? Tha's left the blummin' 'e' out lad!"
    The mason apologises profusely, and assures the widower it'll be right on the day.
    The day of the funeral comes. The mourners leave the church and head out to the graveyard.
    There, in the glow of thr winer son, is the pristine headstone. Upon it inscribed:
    "Eeh, She Were Thin."

  • A Yorkshireman goes to a goldsmiths and asks, "Can tha mek us a gold statue o'me whippet?"
    The goldsmith says he can, then asks: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
    The man replies :"Nay lad, chewin' a bone'll do fine."

Have you got a Yorkshire joke you'd like to share with us?

Email your funniest lines to SamanthaRobinson@trinitymirror.com and we'll add it to our list!