Father's Day may be set aside for spoiling your dad rotten, but we reckon Yorkshire Dads should be celebrated all year round.
Let's face it, they're t'best in t'world — master of the barbecue (usually under a brolly), able to fix anything once he's retreated to his shed and full of sage Yorkshire wisdom.
Even if they've left Yorkshire for sunnier climes or — gasp — gone down south, you know you can take your dad out of Yorkshire, but you can't take Yorkshire out of your dad.
Here's to Yorkshire dads, granddads and Yorkshire dads-to-be.
You know you've got a Yorkshire dad when:
- He has an innate knowledge of what temperature the thermostat is set at, almost like spidey senses. Turn that dial if you dare — within seconds he'll appear out of nowhere to change it back and shout at you to 'get a jumper!'.
- He can fix anything, or will at least have a go, because that's still preferable to buying a new toaster/hoover/washing machine/anything expensive. Better still if he's got a garden shed, or 'man cave' where he can retreat to swear at it in peace.
- The barbecue is his domain, come rain or shine. No messing with salad or burger buns for him, his place is in front of the grill, turning sausages and flipping burgers, usually with a tin of beer nearby. If it rains, that doesn't mean the party's over — get that man a brolly and he will soldier on.
- He knows at least five weird Yorkshire sayings that baffle you the first time you hear them. 'Put t'wood in 't'oil', 'was tha born in a barn?', 'stop mithering me', 'frame your sen' — everyone can usually add their own family phrase.
- He has a mate called Dave, and probably one called Bob or Mick too. You never learn the surnames of these men, you just know them by adjectives, like 'Big Dave' 'Little Bob', 'Fat Mick'. If your Dad doesn't have a mate called Big Dave, he probably is Big Dave.
- No matter what amazing bargain you find, he could have got it cheaper. Holiday? Used car? Pair of jeans? Even if you bagged 50 per cent off, your dad could have found it for you cheaper. Not that they ever disclose how, of course.
- He's amazing in an emergency. Panic isn't a word Yorkshire dads are aware of. Car broken down? House flooded? Credit cards nicked? 'It'll be reet', he'll say, then he'll come over and calmly fix everything with ease. Or at least make you a cuppa.
- But if you're in bother, his silence can be deafening. Mum may rant and rave at you for your latest mischief, but it's dad's stoic, silent 'disappointed' face that really makes you nervous. Yorkshire dads can terrify you with one look — best hide in your room and wait for it to blow over.
- He has one dish (or more) that he insists he does better than your mum. Maybe it's Yorkshire puddings, or it could be a special stew, curry or chili — either way, clear out the kitchen, dad's gonna show you how it's done, lass.
- He'll park miles away to save a quid. Off to the seaside? Well, forget that rip-off parking on the front, I know this little car park where you get all day for £2. No, it's not far, stop whinging and get walking.
- He has a Dad Drawer. Which usually contains batteries of unknown lifespan, currency long since defunct, manuals for a VCR you binned five years ago, screwdrivers, rubber bands and god knows what else. Never open the Dad Drawer. We guarantee you won't get it closed again.
Have we missed something off our list? Email your suggestions to Samantha.Gildea@trinitymirror.com
Yorkshire Dads are special — so don't forget to spoil yours this Sunday!