HAVING a seven-year-old son can throw you into a surreal, childlike world.
And it’s great escapism.
Harry was transfixed by the Euro Championships and became an avid supporter of whichever team was winning at the time.
He started one game by supporting Germany but when things started to look shaky for them he quite happily switched allegiances to Italy and came out a winner.
In the final, the little armchair Italian fan had become Spain’s greatest cheerer by the end.
He’s always on to winner and you’ve got to admire the way he’d never back a loser. Perhaps a career in politics beckons.
But then that surrealism was taken outside into the garden where he’d get me to recreate the best moments from the football ... but with a twist.
For a start, his goal’s far smaller than mine and he’s the rule-maker. Obviously.
In one game he was Italy and I was England – Joe Hart to be more precise. Sorry, Joe, I let the side down by letting around 15 in over half-an-hour.
But garden football’s far better than the real thing. Harry the ref takes no nonsense and so Steven Gerrard got a yellow card for kicking the ball under the trampoline, Wayne Rooney also picked one up for shooting from too close and stinging wonderfully-named Italian goalkeeper Buffon’s hands.
Now Mario Balotelli has been in all kinds of scrapes but he’s never had a red card for kicking the ball petulantly into next-door neighbour Audrey’s garden.
And the surrealism goes on inside. As it poured down outside Harry took to the computer and a clash of the titans on screen.
I couldn’t help but notice what was happening as I went past.
Torquay were 2-0 up against England.