SOME sue only too quickly and here are some crackers that appeared on insurance claim forms.

Comedian Jasper Carrott, pictured right, has turned to similar ones as the backbone to his stand-up routine in the 1970s.

Here are some more.

P The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

P The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.

P I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.

P The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing.

P I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.

P In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole, pulled in to the side of the road because there was smoke coming from under the hood. I realised there was a fire in the engine, so I took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.

P The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were – Q: What warning was given by you? A: Horn. Q: What warning was given by the cow? A: A moo.

P I didn’t think the speed limit applied after midnight.

P The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

P The accident happened because I had one eye on the truck in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind.