MEN don’t grow up until they are in their early 40s, according to a survey. Conversely, women reach maturity by the time they are 32.

Chaps have always been slow developers compared to the opposite sex.

Psychiatrists could expostulate that this is because of the fragility of their egos, the fear of professional under achievement and the burden of masculine responsibility.

Women would say this is billiards.

Masculine responsibility?

That means making sure you pick Jim up on time for the football on Sunday.

It says something that the survey was commissioned by children's TV channel Nickelodeon. In my experience, blokes quite like children’s television. It’s less demanding than Panorama.

A quarter of women claimed they were the ones who had to make all the important decisions in the relationship.

“It's about time we got married. I’ve arranged it for two weeks on Saturday.”

And 30% had ended a relationship because they lost patience with their man being overly immature. “But I don't want to get married.”

According to 80% of women, men never grow up.

But why should we? There is no point taking it too seriously because you know it only ever ends one way.

A sense of humour and childish fun is to be commended. In fact, it’s a necessity to enhance the quality of life.

I was still up for a midnight challenge at late night parties of running round the block in my underwear when in my 40s. The last time was in a very salubrious area of St Annes on Sea. To be honest, I would still be up for it: but it’s the running that puts me off.

Signs of male immaturity that women cite include: selective hearing (particularly when sport is on TV); flatulence; ogling other women (the trick is not to get caught); and man flu.

Plus that strange habit all blokes have of unconsciously adjusting themselves when sitting down as if checking everything is still in its correct position. Where else would it be?

So it’s true. Men are like Peter Pan: they never grow up.

And ladies wouldn’t have us any other way. Would they?