SIXTY per cent of the population would like to leave Britain.
After the weather we’ve been having over the last few years, I don’t blame them.
The figure comes from a report by the Academy for British Studies at Huddersfield University.
Folk are unhappy with the weather, the recession, poor community spirit and Bad Manners. Actually, I always liked the ska band – who can forget Lip Up Fatty? – although Buster Bloodvessel could be controversial. He once mooned on Italian television because someone said the Pope was watching, not that many people would have noticed as he had a face like a smacked bum.
What?
Oh. Not Bad Manners – bad manners.
Doesn’t mooning count, then?
Parents, the report said, also wanted to raise their children in a less celebrity obsessed country.
I sympathise with all the reasons. Years ago, ask children what they wanted to be when they grew up and they would have said train driver, airline pilot, nurse or doctor. These days, they are more likely say celebrity, WAG or Lottery winner.
“But Elsie, you should be taking exams and working towards a career.”
“Why? If I win the Lottery, I won’t need one.”
This obsession is even reflected in the latest board game for Christmas, which is touted to be a big seller: Millionaire Monopoly.
“Diamonds, luxury limos, movie premieres … They’re just part of everyday life in the Monopoly Millionaire game. You’ll love raking in the cash and racing to make a million first.”
Wouldn’t we all, love. Unfortunately, life isn’t like that. Most of us have to work for a living.
Even Buster Bloodvessel has to work and is still touring with the band. He and Bad Manners are appearing at Holmfirth Picturedrome on December 15 with their Christmas Show.
The Huddersfield University report, meanwhile, also identified the perfect place for the 60% of dissatisfied Britons to go. It is Adelaide in Australia which has, they say old fashioned values and a relaxed way of life.
It wouldn’t stay that way if 37 million people suddenly arrived from the UK.
