WHY do Americans always have the best awareness days?
This month, for instance, Britain has a dozen different days and weeks that have been designated to raise awareness for good causes and I have no gripes with Lifeboat Day, Salt Awareness and National Storytelling Week all hoping to impinge on the national consciousness with the aim of improving lives or raising cash for good causes.
But there is a distinct lack of laughs until you check out what our cousins celebrate on the other side of the pond. Days of total daftness lay cheek by jowl with worthy causes, and quite right, too, for where would we be without a laugh?
Just for once, we should take a leaf or two out of their book and celebrate Be Kind To Food Servers Month, Hot Tea Month, Soup Month and Self Love Month. Go on. Give yourself a kiss.
And I am all in favour of Mail Order Gardening Month. That sounds like exactly my sort of gardening.
We have missed Someday We’ll Laugh About This Week and Cuckoo Dancing Week. Mind you, anyone who has tried dancing with a cuckoo will have a lot to laugh about. Ask anyone from Marsden.
We’re in the middle of No Name Calling Week and I know this can be hard, but you should try. Especially when it comes to your husband and mucky socks.
Personally, I’m looking forward to Meat Week (January 29) which coincides with Intimate Apparel Week (you show me yours and I’ll show you mine) and Cowboy Poetry Week.
We will have to wait another year for Z Day (no, I haven’t a clue, either), I’m Not Going To Take It Anymore Day, Bubble Bath Day, Learn Your Name In Morse Code Day, Blame Someone Else Day, Women In Blue Jeans Day and Fetish Day.
Today is both Beer Can Day and Belly Laugh Day, so have a drink and a giggle.
Did you hear about the duck that walked into a pub and asked the barman: “Have you got any bread?” No, said the barman. “Have you got any bread?” repeated the duck. No, said the barman and if you ask me again I’ll nail your beak to the bar. “Got any nails?” asked the duck. No, said the barman. “Got any bread?”
Finally, we can all be thankful we survived Judgement Day which was January 17.
Mind you, there’s always next year.