IN America, you can buy a drinking patch to stop hangovers. Stick it on before you start drinking and it will speed up recovery the morning after the night before.

US inventor Dr Leonard Grossman said it provides vitamins and antioxidants.

“Only an intravenous stuck in your arm while drinking could be more effective.”

Which wouldn’t generally go down well at the bar.

One wonders what’s next?

A drinking patch to get drunk?

This is not as daft as it sounds. Two years ago, a Russian scientist developed a way of packing alcohol into a pill. The option was whisky or vodka. Sadly, no draught bitter. And earlier this year, a French chap unveiled a hand held spray to make you drunk. One little squirt is all you need.

This could cause a policeman problems.

“Excuse me, sir. Have you been drinking?”

“Certainly not, ossiffer. A drop has never lutched my tips all night.”

And if the officer had any sense, he’d arrest the little squirt anyway.