THE sign in the Huddersfield shop window cheered me up no end: “Spring Fashion”, it said. The fact that the store was gearing up to sell lightweight clothes for balmy spring days was a message of hope.

Only last week I bought a new winter coat because my wife Maria had appropriated my fur lined Ben Sherman. I hadn’t noticed, as I usually travel by car and she catches the bus three times a week to go into town.

But on this occasion we had driven into town together, parked in the multi storey and by the time we reached BHS I realised I was in danger of frostbite in a sensitive area because I was wearing a wind cheater in what was brass monkey weather. My wife, meanwhile, was snug as a bug in a rug.

“That’s my coat,” I said.

“I know,” she said, without any qualms, hesitation or regret.

“But you’ve got at least two other winter coats. You've got a Dr Who overcoat and a Paddington Bear duffel coat.”

I should point out that these are not actually coats that are franchised by either character, just that they are similar in design.

“This is warmer.”

“I’m freezing.”

“You can always borrow my duffel coat.”

“I don’t like marmalade.”

The Dr Who coat was out of the question as it was of the Tom Baker variety and too long.

“But I want one of my own,” I said, and almost stamped my foot as we passed W H Smith. Even I realised I was beginning to sound like Violet Elizabeth Bott. But instead of “thcreaming till I’m thick”, I went straight to T K Maxx and found a warm bargain on the clearance rail.

This also cheered me up no end because, according to research done, for some strange reason, by T-Mobile, bargains get us excited.

Ladies would rather strike a deal on a cut price washing machine than contemplate an early night with Ryan Gosling, they said. Gosling is, apparently, a new generation film star of whom I have never heard but, having seen his picture, I’m not convinced that ladies would choose a Hotpoint.

They also said that chaps would rather snaffle a Buy One Get One Free offer than watch football. Which, quite frankly, is nonsense. I would never travel anywhere to get two cans of beans for the price of one, especially in this weather, as, until last week, I didn't have a warm coat, an article of attire, by the way, that you don’t need to watch Match of the Day.

However, I freely admit that I was chuffed at my new outer garment and kept telling my wife: “What a deal – a £95 coat for thirty quid” as if I’d trekked into the jungle and killed a lion with my bare hands for its skin, rather than have a quick look on the clearance rail in the Kingsgate Centre.

So a week later I was double chuffed at the Spring Fashion sign as a portent of warmer days ahead. Until I realised I had just bought a winter coat.

Would that thirty quid have been better spent on shorts and T shirts? Could I really have got away with looking like Paddington Bear?