EVEN if you’re a champion advert avoider like me you’ll still have noticed the relatively sudden appearance of gap-toothed models gracing our screens and billboards.

What was once regarded as a dental defect is now regarded as ‘beautiful’. To me it’s a real turn-off, but I was initially pleased to see the conventional concept of beauty was being challenged. Except it isn’t about forcing us to be more open-minded about appearances.

I’m all for having ‘real women’ employed as models. Bring in some real curves, I say (steady on – ed).

But this sudden appearance of models with diastema (that’s the proper dental term for a gap between two or more teeth) doesn’t appear to be about giving real women a go in front of the camera. If it is, it’s a token gesture. You’re not going to find cross-eyed women or, dare I say it, fat women advertising perfume or skin creams.

Soap manufacturer Dove, which embraced the Campaign for Real Beauty, is currently using a model who confirms to all the accepted standards of beauty – except for a rift between her incisors.

Gap teeth are just the latest fad in the world of fashion and advertising and we all know how immoral the fashion and advertising industries can be.

Certain sectors of the media are just as bad and often deeply sexist. Some, it seems, consider only ‘good looking’ women for their star roles. While we progress towards gender equality, our media is back pedalling. Compare Natalie Sawyer and her co-Sky TV news presenting beauties, to Jabba the Hut-a-like political editor Adam Boulton.

These industries are the reason why the female of our species is racked by insecurity about her appearance from the age of 11.

If this sudden acceptance of diastema as beauty continues without incorporating other aesthetic ‘defects’, what’s going to happen?

Will these poor, image-obsessed creatures start forcing objects between their front teeth to emulate the ‘beauty’ of say, Georgia Jagger or the original gap-toothed queens Lauren Hutton and Madonna? Surely not? Will they begin painting stains onto their flawless veneers?

It’s already happened.

Some models have started paying thousands to besmirch their perfect teeth in the hope it’ll improve their employment prospects. It’s a move they’ll probably regret should diastema and other dental imperfections go out of fashion. And they probably will.

Thankfully and ironically it’s considerably cheaper – yet nonetheless expensive – to fix imperfect teeth, than it is to professionally ruin a nice set of gnashers.

Any cash-strapped models who’d like their teeth spoilt will be delighted to know I offer a much cheaper service. I have hammers, screwdrivers and pliers guaranteed to ruin teeth of all shapes and sizes. I work from my bathroom after the pub has closed if you’re interested. All I ask is you sign a waiver absolving me from criminal prosecution. Oh ... and I’m not qualified to administer any pain relief.

But seriously, if I was an orthodontist and of an ethical disposition I’d be in a quandary. Could I accept big bucks for making a dog’s dinner of some deluded soul’s chompers?

I’m hoping balding heads and beer bellies become fashionable. However, if my hair magically starts sprouting again or I miraculously manage to lose my paunch I won’t be paying top dollar to pluck my scalp smooth and inject fat into my midriff.