OCCASIONALLY I like a bit of trashy TV to sneer at.
And this month I’ve been raising a nostril to What Happens In Kavos.
The show is no different to the glut of kids-getting-trashed-on-holiday documentaries which have been bothering cheapo TV channels for 20 years.
The use of uber-obvious classical tunes is a pretty lazy (and unsuccessful) attempt to make C4’s latest holiday debauch-o-rama seem less gratuitous.
Nevertheless it made particularly good car crash TV last week when C4 revisited the already well explored world of the juvenile holiday rep.
While young Brits on holiday can’t wait to drown in their own vomit and pick up a sexually transmitted disease (STD) that level of partying is apparently tame if you’re a holiday rep.
As well as drinking until their livers exploded, reps in their late teens and 20s regaled tales of consuming bodily waste products and catching the A-to-Z in sexually transmitted infections – and apparently they had a ruddy good time doing so.
Perhaps this level of depravity will itself be considered half-hearted by the holiday reps of tomorrow.
I’ve envisaged a future where reps’ partying will put the younger Ozzy Osbourne to shame.
Soon a drinking session won’t be complete without the death of one rep and the hospitalisation of another two. The infamous boat cruises, where holidaymakers drink so much they become a fire hazard due to the concentration of alcohol in their blood, will of course have to step up their game.
Booze-cruising reps will expect at least half of those on board to have drowned in the sea after a couple of hours.
Meanwhile the porn-inspired sex games will be supplemented by bloody gladiatorial combat with weapons provided by the cruise operators.
I’m not complaining, mind. STDs and death are a cunning way of stopping stupid people reproducing.
