When people ask Carol Sloan why she and her husband Peter have chosen to become foster parents she tells them, quite simply, that it’s because they love children.
“It’s so rewarding,” she explains, “it’s lovely to bring kids into your home and show them different experiences; experiences that they otherwise wouldn’t have.”
For the past five years the Huddersfield couple, who have three daughters and three grandchildren of their own, have welcomed a number of children and young people into their family and currently care for two sisters, aged nine and 13. It’s likely that the girls will be with them for many years. “I hope they are,” says Carol, who admits that she always forms an instant bond with her foster children. The girls are now such an important part of her family that when she and Peter, who works as a welder, renewed their wedding vows earlier this year the foster daughters were bridesmaids. And when they celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary in February next year with a trip to The Gambia they’ll be taking the children with them.
Foster carers come from all walks of life and agencies are always on the lookout for new candidates. Carol, who has an eclectic background in tourism, banking and child welfare and is currently manager of the Ashfield Club in Fenay Bridge, says she would have fostered years ago if she had not been caring for her father, who lived with the family for 20 years before he died.
“I always wanted to work with children,” she explained. “But after I took ten years out to raise my children I went back to college to study tourism and worked for Thomsons. And then I was head-hunted by Barclays to be a personal banker.”
Eventually, however, Carol, 53, decided to follow her dream and found a role as a behaviour support worker at a pupil referral unit in Batley. She then moved on to become pupil welfare manager at Heckmondwike College and, somewhere in between, found time to study for a degree in counselling at Huddersfield University.
It’s clear from talking to Carol that the caring genes run strongly in her family. Not only is she committed to fostering, she and Peter, 57, have also become involved with the work of an African charity that provides aid and runs nursery schools in The Gambia. The couple are regular visitors to the country where they support the June and Brian Cox Project, set up by a Kettering couple to improve life for those in the West African country.
Their two foster daughters have been shown the work of the charity. Carol explains: “They had only been with us six weeks when we took them to The Gambia for the first time. It was a wonderful experience for them. They’d never even been in an aeroplane before and it was amazing to see their faces light up when they saw the hotel.
“I was surprised when the older girl saw how the African children were living and said to me that she hadn’t realised how lucky she was - and that’s despite all the things that have happened to her.”
Carol fosters for Leeds-based The Adolescent and Children’s Trust (TACT), the UK’s largest fostering and adoption charity, which provides her with ongoing training. Carol has become a foster representative and offers support and help to other foster carers.
While she is passionate about fostering, she says that fosterers need patience and understanding and have to be prepared to hear things that will upset them. As TACT supervising social worker Richard Leech explains: “Carol has had to deal with a lot of emotional stuff and she is making a potentially lifelong commitment. The children she cares for have been through a lot. There is an impression that looked-after children are problem children but we say they are children with problems.”
Carol agrees: “I used to work at a school where it was important to try and understand children with problems. You had to understand that their behaviour was related to their background and what they went home to. People are quick to jump to conclusions about children in care and don’t think about the reasons why they are in care and what has happened to them in the past. What these children need is love, and time. They want to be part of a family.”
Her two foster daughters have found themselves part of a large and lively family. All three of Carol and Peter’s daughters - Nikki, 28; Kelly, 26; and Zoe, 23 - and their grandchildren - Harley, 5; Jaylan, 3; and Lilly,1 - live locally and are frequent visitors to the family home. “The foster children get on so well with my grandchildren, my house is always full of children - that’s how I like it,” says Carol.
But she still has time for her own interests. A former Huddersfield ladies pool champion, she plays regularly for the Ashfield B team, as does Peter.
Having fostered a number of children, and a young mum with a baby, Carol knows that there are many reasons why youngsters end up needing care.
As Richard says: “Parents may have learning or physical difficulties; substance addiction or mental health problems. The children may have been subjected to abuse or domestic violence. But the bottom line is that neglect is a big issue, deliberate harm is more rare. Many parents and children still love each other but can’t live together because the parents can’t provide the care that’s needed.”
The charity is always on the lookout for more foster carers, people willing to help turn a child’s life around and give them a future. Carol has no doubts at all that the rewards outweigh the difficulties. “I’ve got some spare bedrooms,” she says to Richard, “when am I going to get some more foster children?”
For details of fostering and adoption visit www.tactcare.org.uk/yorkshire
