WHATEVER happened to girls, drugs and rock and roll?

Bands on tour used to submit lists of crazy items they wanted backstage in their dressing rooms and at their hotels. Or, at the very least, industrial amounts of alcohol.

But veteran rockers Status Quo seem to have put all that behind them and are looking forward to going to gigs for free on their old folks bus passes if their list of requirements is anything to go by.

A hotel in Blackpool has revealed that what Francis Rossi and Rick Parfitt wanted was Horlicks, hot chocolate, hair dryers and a trouser press.

Good grief. Jimi Hendrix will be spinning in his grave.

Sammy Davis Junior, obviously a socially interactive person, asked for an “assortment of groovy chicks” to be available for intellectual conversation after his shows, while Justin Timberlake listed Grey Goose vodka, Jack Daniels, Captain Morgan, Crown Royal, champagne and two bananas.

But since those heady days, when Keith Moon would trash his hotel room for the fun of it and backstage booze was delivered straight from the distillery, stars have made increasingly bizarre demands that have drifted away from those old rock and roll basics.

Sir Paul McCartney, it is reported, likes his dressing room full of six foot plants, The Rolling Stones want a toilet on wheels, a snooker table and a TV on which to watch cricket, and Madonna needs 25 crates of Kabbalah Water and white roses.

Barry Manilow invites members of his fan club into the venue early so they can decorate his dressing room for him, Jennifer Lopez wants everything in white and her coffee to be stirred counter-clockwise and Mariah Carey reportedly asks for bottles of Cristal champagne and a bendy straw with which to drink it. Oh yes, and “one special attendant to dispose of used chewing gum”.

Singer Dave Roth of the band Van Halen demanded there be a bowl of M&M sweets in the dressing room with the strict stipulation that there should be no brown ones.


No, actually very smart. It was safety check.

The band’s show was huge, involving tons of equipment. If small mistakes were made, the band could have been in danger. So if Roth found brown M&Ms in the sweetie bowl he knew someone had been slipshod about their work and would demand the whole rigging be checked again.

Besides, who likes brown M&Ms?

So the Horlicks demands made by Status Quo now look quite normal. Especially when you realise that Rossi is 60 and Parfitt is 59 and they have survived decades of hell-raising already. Who needs anymore at that age?