I HAVE two email accounts and one has been hijacked.

The account still works normally for sending and receiving messages but some organisation also uses it to send shadow emails in my name.

What makes this particularly bizarre is that it sends them to me, so that I have received emails from myself to myself with offers of cut-price little-blue-pills, cheap Windows software and a replica Rolex, plus persistent messages from 22-year-old Julia who is looking for a man with whom “to have a strong family”.

All these emails have been shunted straight into my SPAM basket by email security so that I am not bothered with them. I only discovered them when I checked the contents to see what rubbish has been sent. They were among more than 500 SPAM emails I have had in the last 30 days.

I thought it quite amusing to receive messages to myself, until I realised I had received similarly bizarre messages from my cousin Suzanne who lives in Spain.

Why would she send me recommendations about the strangest and most personal products? She’d gone potty, I thought. But now the penny has dropped: her email address had been hijacked as well.

Presumably these messages are also being sent, in my name, to others? Possibly people I know. They may think that, to boost my pension, I have become a latter-day Delboy, doing dodgy deals with little blue pills and fake designer watches, no longer out of a suitcase, but out of the wide blue anonymity of the internet.

So if anyone does get an offer with my name on it, that they would most certainly refuse, let me proclaim my innocence now. It’s not me guv. Honest.