I READ that drinking three cups of tea a day can reduce your chances of having a stroke.
Then I read that world tea prices are on the increase and pretty soon the price of a cup of tea might give you a stroke.
"One tea and a rock bun. That’ll be £15, please."
"Can you make it a bit stronger?"
"Two dips of the bag? That’ll be £25 for double immersion."
Demand has exceeded supply and pushed the price up. Droughts have affected tea-growing countries causing a cutback in production and the cost is likely to skyrocket the same way that petrol did.
"If the shortfall turns out to be as deep as expected, then prices will go through the roof," said a United Nations expert.
What will happen then? Will we have to change our national drink of choice?
I mean, I consume about three tea bushes a week
Coffee isn’t the same. All that concentrated caffeine makes me edgy.
Maybe we will have to dig deep into our social history to come up with an alternative daily brew that can safely be consumed morning, noon and night. Yes, I’m talking ale.
For centuries, beer was the drink of choice in most households for children as well as adults because it was hygienically safer than plain water.
Families had what was called "small ale" (meaning weak) during the day and strong ale at night.
Well, if the tea crisis develops, I will reluctantly acquiesce to this obviously inferior substitute. It will hurt, mind, and I shall miss my morning cuppa, but if it means helping to solve the nation’s balance of payments and ease us out of the world recession that little bit sooner, I will give up my tea and drink beer all day instead.
Now, will someone explain this to my wife?