AH, the joys of ageing gracefully. They were all encapsulated in a note that Suzanne Martin, of Oakes, saw in Ilkley Community Centre.
“I got a member of staff to photocopy it for me,” she says. “As I’m now over the 80 mark, I can relate to it. Hope you have a good laugh, like I did.”
So here is a light hearted look at getting old, in the form of a letter from an elderly friend:
“I have become older since I saw you last and a few changes have come into my life. Frankly, I have become a frivolous old woman. I am seeing six gentlemen every day.
“When I wake up, Will Power helps me out of bed, then I go visit John and then it’s time for breakfast with Mr Kellogg and the refreshing company of Mr Tetley or my other friend, who I only know by his initials, PG. Then comes someone I don’t like at all, Arthur it is. He knows he is not welcome but stays for the rest of the day. Even then, he doesn’t like to stay in one place, so he takes me from joint to joint.
“After such a hectic day, I am glad to get to bed and with Johnny Walker, too! What a hectic life. Oh yes, and I am now flirting with Al Zheimer.
“The vicar came the other day and said at my age I should be thinking of the hereafter. I told him I did that all the time for, no matter where I am. The bedroom, the kitchen, the sitting room or the garden, I ask my self: Now, what am I here after?
“Well, I’ll close now and hope that Will Power is your constant companion, too, but do make sure that his friend Emma Royd does not creep up on you from behind. And watch out for that other crafty one, Gerry Atric.”