SCIENTISTS cloned Dolly the sheep in 1996. Eleven years later, they have successfully cloned embryos from a primate.
That’s a monkey, to you and me, and part of the chain of higher echelon beings. It will be humans next.
In another decade or so they will have spare part surgery down to a fine art and be growing all sorts of limbs and hearts and kidneys.
It will be like going to the local butcher for a leg of lamb or a bit of best rump.
“Now then, doctor. My legs are giving me gyp. I’d like a new pair.”
“Certainly. They start at £25 and go up to £10,000 plus.”
“What do I get for £25?”
“A pair of monkey legs. The bad news is they are short, hairy and bent. A bit like the ones you’ve already got. The good news is you can scratch yourself behind your ear with them and, whilst doing so, give yourself a whole new outlook on life.”
“What do I get for ten grand?”
“Ah, top of the range. For that you could have a pair we cloned from Linford Christie.”
“Linford Christie? Did you clone anything else of his?”
“Sorry, sir. The rest had a public health warning.”
“And could I buy a pair of new legs for the wife?”
“Of course, sir. If you are of an athletic disposition, you could have a set of Paula Radcliffe limbs for £10,000. If you are more an admirer of fashion, we have a rather nice set of Kate Moss legs.”
“How wonderful. I‘ll take Kate Moss.”
“Before you go ahead and confirm, you should bear in mind one important factor.”
“What’s that?”
“Will Kate Moss legs really go with your wife’s Jade Goody body?”
