SCOTTISH football has missed the perfect opportunity to finally end the tedious rule of the Glasgow giants.
After a meeting this week the top brass from the Scottish government, police and football authorities have produced an exciting eight-point plan that will no doubt instantly strike fear into the hearts of both Celtic and Rangers fans and from now on they will all behave like lovely little fluffy kittens.
In modern terms what kicked off in last week’s Scottish Cup fifth round replay at the Celtic Park was a bit out of the ordinary with aggressive confrontations on the field, off the field, at the side of the field and no doubt in what few fields exist in the Parkhead area of Glasgow.
However, just how an eight-point plan is going to end years of sectarian violence that has been given its focus by the Old Firm derby games, I really don’t know.
In years gone by the Glasgow derby was abandoned on occasion because fans would take to the pitch to get the game called off if their team was losing, so what happened last week looks a little feeble in comparison.
However, the Scottish football authorities wanted a solution to the problem and I feel they have missed a great opportunity – and here are a few options I have come up with.
My first idea would be to have relegated both clubs to the bottom of Scottish Division III as punishment and, as they worked their way back up the league, the coffers of the struggling also-rans in the lower divisions would probably have been filled sufficiently by the gates they would have got for those two fixtures to keep them going for another decade.
This option would also mean that a different club would win the Scottish title making the competition instantly more interesting.
It would also spare towns and cities all over Europe wondering what on earth they are supposed to do with the oft inebriated Glaswegians who seem to get left behind for days after away games – when Celtic played Blackburn Rovers in the UEFA Cup in 2002 there were still Scottish fans propping up the bar in the Adelphi over a week later!
My second idea would be to set a limit on attendances at Celtic Park and Ibrox and encourage those who are true football fans to go and boost the attendances at other Glasgow area clubs like Partick Thistle, Greenock Morton, Queens Park, etc – had they done this a few years ago Clydebank and their Kilbowie Park home might still be a going concern.
My third idea would be to make the clubs merge and play as FC Glasgow, wear green and blue hooped shirts and be run by a committee of certified atheists.
I like the final idea particularly because it would stop Leeds United fans singing that stupid Rangers-Celtic song.