THE young widow of suicide bomber Jermaine Lindsay told today how she "totally abhorred" her husband's deadly actions.
Samantha Lewthwaite described how Jermaine, who was brought up in Huddersfield, tenderly kissed their young son goodbye before leaving on his lethal mission.
She said she believed his mind had been poisoned by visits to radical mosques in London, Luton and the North.
Lindsay, 19, a former Rawthorpe High School student, blew himself up on a Piccadilly Line train between King's Cross and Russell Square stations in the worst of the suicide attacks on London on July 7, killing himself and 26 others.
He was one of four bombers who carried out attacks on the capital that day.
Earlier this week, police revealed how Lindsay and two of the other bombers - including Mohammad Sidique Khan, of Thornhill Lees - staged a "dummy run" days before their fateful last journey.
But his 21-year-old widow, who gave birth to the couple's second child after the atrocities, told the Sun newspaper she believed her partner could not have left without saying farewell to their toddler, Abdullah.
She said she believes she heard him on the stairs of their Buckinghamshire home.
"I feel sure he couldn't have gone through with it without seeing him one last time.
"He kissed our child goodbye and then crept off to blow up King's Cross.
"In the morning I found he'd left the keys on a table downstairs. He obviously had no more use for them."
The couple, both converts to Islam, met over the internet and married in 2002.
The pair lived in Huddersfield for a time before moving to Aylesbury.
She said he had been a "peaceful man who loved people".
But Lindsay, who used the Muslim name Jamal, changed after they moved to Aylesbury, and took to disappearing for days on end, visiting mosques around the country.
She had assumed he was at a mosque that fateful Thursday, but said when police interviewed her and showed her CCTV footage of her husband, her "world collapsed".
She gave birth to their daughter, Ruqayyah, this month.
One day, she said, she would have to tell their children what he had done.
"Jamal is accountable for his actions 100% and I condemn with all my heart what he has done.
"I will try to remember for my children's sake the Jamal I loved and raise them knowing their father was a man who truly loved them.
"But the day will come when I'll have to tell them what he did."
She said her husband had been angry over atrocities elsewhere in the world.
"He was so angry when he saw Muslim civilians being killed on the streets of Iraq, Bosnia, Palestine and Israel and always said it was the innocents who suffered.
"Then he is responsible for doing the same thing but to his fellow British people."
The couple met via e-mail while Samantha was studying in London.
Both had recently converted to Islam, Lindsay while a student at Rawthorpe High School.
She was at the School of Oriental and African Studies in London when a friend gave her Lindsay's address.
The pair first met on a Stop The War march in London.
She said: "We found we were very much alike and kindred spirits.
"We wanted to make a difference to the world by peaceful means.
"Jamal's mother Maryam had already converted to Islam. She interviewed me to see if I was suitable as a wife for her son. She decided I was.
"We were married in the front room of a friend's house with just two of his friends and two of mine there in front of an imam in a simple ceremony.
"We exchanged rings at our wedding and went to live in Huddersfield."
Shortly afterwards Samantha gave birth to their son, Abdullah, now 17 months old, and earlier this month had the daughter he will never see, named Ruqayyah.
"I look into little Abdullah's face and all I can see is Jamal.
"They look so alike. I just wonder how I will ever be able to explain the truth about their father."