A drunk man arrested after kicking off outside Huddersfield Police Station said he'd gone there to report a crime against himself.
Daniel Fretwell was beaten up outside McDonald's in the town centre in the early hours of Monday morning.
He went straight to the police station in Castlegate but lost him temper when told to leave due to his state.
The 41-year-old claimed to have a knife on him and was arrested.
He then spent the night in a cell and admitted to Kirklees magistrates: “I'm a bit of a d**k.”
Prosecutor Alex Bozman told the Huddersfield court that Fretwell arrived outside the police station at 2.30am.
A sergeant monitoring the council's CCTV footage watched as he banged on the windows of the police station and repeatedly pressed the call button.
Officers outside the building then went to speak to drunk Fretwell but he responded by shouting at them.
Mr Bozman said: “He was given a direction to leave the area or be arrested but Mr Fretwell responded by waving his fist at the officer.
“The officer pushed him away and said to go home or he would be arrested.
“Mr Fretwell turned away and laid down, saying he'd been assaulted and refused to move any further.
“He was arrested and suggested that he had a knife but when he was searched he didn't have anything on him.”
Fretwell, of Newlands Avenue in Clayton West, continued to behave in a disorderly manner as he was taken to Dewsbury Police Station.
He was placed straight into a cell and held overnight due to safety concerns became of some comments he made to police.
Sonia Kidd, mitigating, explained that because the public reception at Huddersfield Police Station is not manned overnight there is an external telephone for members of the public to ring.
She said: “This gentleman had been at McDonald's and was assaulted. He was quite upset and making his way to the police station to report that incident.
“You can wait for an incredibly long period for somebody to answer the phone and he was getting more and more frustrated and upset.
“Then police were not taking seriously that he's been assaulted and the situation escalated to the point that he's been arrested.
“He made some off the cuff remarks to the custody sergeant which he took seriously and led to him being kept for court.”
Fretwell, who admitted being drunk and disorderly in public, said that because of “Big Brother” there were cameras everywhere and these showed him getting assaulted.
He claimed that despite this police did not take any notice of him but did admit to the court: “I need to sort my life out – I'm a bit of a d**k.”
Magistrates gave him a six month conditional discharge but said that he will still have to pay £20 victim surcharge.
