MARTY, my colourblind Martian friend who pops down to earth every week to watch his favourite sport, was very confused on Saturday as he visited Hillsborough for the first time and completely mixed up the home and away teams.
Town dominated this first of numerous local derbies, so much so it was not surprising that he was confused.
Mendes was the first with a good chance, maybe the best of the match, as he fired against the lefthand post.
He wasn't the only culprit as we file this catalogue and share the blame in proportion.
* Carss fires into side netting with a free-kick.
* Booth heads Carss' corner wide.
* Booth heads down superbly only for Holdsworth to volley straight at Lucas.
* Sodje flicks on only for Booth to blast into the welcoming arms of Lucas.
* Booth flattened and Carss blasts free-kick over bar.
* Worthington feeds ball to Brandon who also thinks Lucas is the target - not the goal.
* Carss delivers excellent free-kick but Booth mistimes header and hits a sitting Sodje on the head - in the area!
* Mendes does all the hard work and then stubs his shot - yes, you guessed it - Lucas didn't have to move.
* Booth turns a bad backpass into a chance but misses the target from a tight angle.
Got the picture?
Oh, and just to rub salt into the wound, we gift the Owls a goal as the defence goes walkabout. A neat layback by McGovern to MacLean sees the Scot have time to put his foot on the ball before scoring.
Add all that to the fact that Gray, no chance with the goal, did not make a single save and you can see Marty's confusion.
I cheered him up as I reported that the goalposts were arriving at Storthes Hall next week!
Marty will be back - he has promised to visit the Pharm if only for Graham Leslie's pills.
How we all needed them on Saturday night as my little friend rocketed home.