PREDICTING football results can be a hazardous occupation – except when it comes to the bottom five in the Premier League.

They lose every match!

I can hardly remember a win for West Brom, Middlesbrough, Newcastle United, Sunderland or Hull City this year.

It must be soul destroying for the long-suffering fans of that quintet.

And with the exception of the Tigers they’ve all been there before.

That’s the problem with the Premier League, and why supporters of Wolves, Birmingham City and whichever club gets the short straw of joining them on the way up from the Championship play-offs should be ordering anti-depressant pills now.

If it wasn’t for the fact that Newcastle actually play Middlesbrough next Monday I’d wager that the bottom five wouldn’t get another point between them.

Consider this. Newcastle (with and without Alan Shearer) have won once in 17 games, Boro have won two in 22.

Hull have had a single success since November – when they were boldly talking of a debut in Europe – Sunderland are in freefall, and West Brom have been a hopeless cause since the opening day of the season.

Believe it or not I think if Newcastle can beat Boro it will keep them up. What does that say about how bad it is!

Hull may get something out of the visit of Stoke to the KC Stadium, so I’m going for Sunderland to go down with their Teesside neighbours and Albion, who go up and down every year and will probably be back at the expense of Wolves in 12 months’ time.

I have a friend who is suicidal over Sunderland’s current plight.

Remember they set a record of 20 consecutive defeats and won only one home match all season last time they fell from grace.

Bolton (away), Portsmouth (away) and Chelsea (home) could be their last games at this level for some time.

Alan Shearer’s escape route could come ironically through the hopelessness of his two nearest neighbours.

NO DOUBT the pages of the Examiner have been filled with tributes to the retiring Andy Booth – but I’d like to have my six penn’orth.

Football sometimes gets a bad name because of it’s miscreants.

But if every professional played and behaved the way Andy has done throughout a magnificent career it would be held up as an exemplary trade.

I never saw Jimmy Glazzard play, but I know he was pretty good with his head, as was Denis Law, the first striker I can remember with the uncanny knack of being able to hang in the air.

John Charles and a chap called Jim Fryatt, who was centre-forward for my club Bradford Park Avenue, were the best headers of a ball I ever saw.

But Boothy is up there with them!

I did see Vic Metcalfe, Dave Hickson, Jimmy Nicholson, Trevor Cherry and, of course, Frank Worthington.

And I can pay Andy no greater compliment than to say he deserves to be mentioned in the same breath.

ROTHERHAM United face Gillingham and Darlington meet Bury in the League II play-offs.

Shame about Grimsby dropping to Blue Square level for the first time in their history.

No, I’ve not lost my marbles. That’s exactly what would have happened barring the points deductions incurred by just some of the clubs in League II.

Luton Town would have been mid-table instead of facing the ignominy of non-league football.

And Bournemouth would have missed the play-offs by just five points.

Reading the league table has been a farce all season, and I’ve no doubt there will be a similar scenario come the big kick-off in August.

The administrators have most points (84 this season) and Southampton alone should get them nicely under way next time round.

There has to be a better system of dealing with administrative errors and financial irregularities.

Why should players and fans be punished every time?

The pockets of those who perpetrate these deeds should be hit rather than the innocents.