FORWARD planning is a great thing and apparently at the All England Club they like to get ahead.

Even while the current 2010 tournament is running at Wimbledon, they are already working hard on putting matters in place for 2011.

One of the first things they like to get on top of is printing tickets for the following year’s tournament.

Seemingly if you buy a ticket for anything but the first day of play for the 2011 event it comes stamped with the warning: ‘Please note you will probably not get to see any British women players’.

But you do have to be proud of the efforts of all our plucky homegrown entrants as they set a new record this year.

Seemingly the 2010 showing was the worst ever by British women at Wimbledon as they all failed to reach the second round, which given that they have been rubbish for years is quite some achievement – in fact you almost get the feeling that they possibly collectively set their minds on becoming this memorable.

I have been over the LTA wasting money territory too many times before to get involved in that again – why don’t they just bring back Annabel Croft and leave it at that?

IN THE second of my sporadic series called ‘How to brighten up the World Cup experience’ I have decided we should play spot the doppelganger.

I have given you a couple of easy ones to start off with, though sadly in one instance, you will have to rely on memory.

Firstly, Diego Maradona plainly confused the comic movie ‘Mike Bassett: England Manager’ with some kind of training video to the point that he has taken on board Ricky Tomlinson’s particular brand of sartorial elegance.

Secondly, France boss Raymond Domenech steadily transformed from an Alistair Darling clone into movie star Harpo Marx as the madness of the French camp broke his resolve.

Another to watch out for is Brazil boss Dunga, whose outfit for the opening game against North Korea bore an uncanny resemblance to William Shatner’s dress uniform as worn in his role as Captain Kirk in Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.

THERE always has to be a party pooper.

Super League outfit Harlequins became the first club to formally ban vuvuzelas from their ground.

One can only assume that the two Quins fans who were blowing them annoyed the other three so much that a complaint was made and the majority won the verdict.

TO BORROW the idiomatic speech of the teen scene ... ‘Like oh my God, it’s just like it’s Doctor Who!’

The Tardis toting timelord is currently trapped in an adventure called The Pandorica where his arch enemies – Daleks, Cybermen, the Slitheen et al – are all out to get him.

Thanks to American Landon Donovan’s late goal, England’s route to the World Cup final bears an uncanny resemblance.

The only thing that we know for sure is that on Sunday afternoon, Fabio Capello’s brave boys will go up against the Cybermen of Germany, knowing a failure to get a result could lead to a ruthless execution from 12 yards as in Italia 90 or on home soil in Euro 96.

Should that obstacle be overcome, the likelihood is that next up will be the Dalek-like Argentines. who we know will do anything (the hand of Diego in Mexico 86 or the theatrical fall of Simeone in France 98) to exterminate England’s hopes of glory.

And should the last four be reached then it could be Portugal.

The guys from the Iberian peninsula are a bit new on the arch enemy front but, like the Slitheen, we know that slippery characters like Cristiano ‘the Winker’ Ronaldo will do what it takes to kill off our hopes – as in Euro 2004 and the last World Cup finals in 2006.

But take heart and draw on the omens and the spirit of 1966.

In the quarter-finals of that glorious tournament, the vanquished were none other than that surly senor Antonio Rattin – sent off for the look in his eye – and his Argentina team who were branded ‘animals’ by Sir Alf Ramsey.

In the last four, Bobby Charlton produced the power needed to put the panther-like predatory skills of Portugal’s Eusebio in the shade and, in the final on that sunny day at Wembley on July 30, I think we all know who came second.

The only thing that is certain this weekend is that Doctor Who – with the help of his glamorous assistant Amy Pond – will overcome his opponents.

Sadly for England, Amy Pond is unlikely to come to their rescue, being a child of the oldest enemy of all – Scotland.

Sorry lads, it looks like you are going to have to get through this on your own!