Game of Thrones season five: 10 things we learned from episode eight — Hardhome

There's nothing like a terrifying army of the undead to make the politics of King's Landing and Meereen seem trivial.

This week was all about the White Walkers — and realisation that the vast army of icy-eyed zombies pose a far bigger threat to the future of Westeros than any challenger for the Iron Throne.

It was chaotic, thrilling, edge-of-your-seat stuff — and a welcome pay-off after the slow development of the White Walkers in seasons one to four.

Here are 10 things we learned this week:

1. Tyrion and Daenerys faced off. Away from the fighting pits, Daenerys and Tyrion began their own battle of wits as one tried to assess the merits of the other. And what a match they are: "Two terrible children of two terrible fathers". Daenerys holds the power — and Tyrion can help her use it wisely. Although his talk of gaining support from Westerosi houses fell on deaf ears as Daenerys dismissed them as 'spokes on a wheel', a wheel she intends to destroy. Tyrion puts his faith in clever politics, not brute force — will he be able to control Dany's gung-ho approach to taking the Iron Throne?

2. Arya was given a mission. Hurrah, her sweeping days are over, and we now know a little bit more about what the Many Faced God does. A bit like the Batman of Braavos, Jaquen seeks out injustice and takes out the bad guys. And so Arya is now Lana the orphan, oyster and cockle seller, and tasked with ending the Thin Man's run of cruel gambling. What was in the vial Jaquen gave her? And will she get a chance to use it?

3. Cersei won't back down. Ragged, filthy and starving, Cersei cut a tragic, slightly crazed figure this week, cowered in her cell and waiting for a rescue that may never come. Swapping between threatening the guards with death and trying to pay them off, she became desperate this week, and having burned her bridges at court, it's unlikely someone will risk the wrath of the High Sparrow to free her. She faces trial for fornication, treason, incest and the murder of King Robert — will she get out before she has to face judgement?

4. Sansa learned the truth. Sansa tried once more to prise the Theon out of Reek, which led to her discovering that her younger brothers were not murdered, but in fact escaped Theon's clutches when he seized Winterfell. But Reek's loyalty lies with Ramsay, as he told a bewildered Sansa there was 'no escape'. And I think we're a way off the return of Theon too, if he ever returns at all. Ramsay 'cut away piece after piece until there was no Theon left.' What will he do to Sansa?

5. Jorah won't give up. Jorah's hope that delivering Tyrion to Daenerys would put him back in her favour was dashed last night, as he was once more exiled from Meereen. Tyrion managed to save his life but warned Daenerys away from having him in her council — but our lovesick knight doesn't give up that easily. Back to the fighting pits he went, determined to win back his mistress in the Great Pit. "Let me fight for her," he pleaded — sorry Jorah, mate, I don't think she wants you to.

6. Tormund trusts the 'King Crow'. Then, north of the Wall, all the drama of King's Landing, Meereen and Winterfell became trivial as Jon, Tormund and the Night's Watch found a sea of Free Folk and all hell let lose.
Tormund stepped up to vouch for Jon with the Wildlings (after, ahem, dealing with the Lord of Bones) and even praised the 'King Crow' for his mercy when Stannis executed Mance Rayder, despite Jon's attempt to take the blame. While many refused to trust the Night's Watch, Jon's warning about the White Walkers convinced some to take him up on his offer of a new life. "The long night is coming and the dead people with it."

7. I think we're going to need a bigger boat. Unfortunately, that long night came far sooner than expected — and as 5,000 Wildlings headed for the boats, those who stubbornly stayed behind found themselves engulfed in a white mist. The eerie silence that lingered after the Free Folk trapped outside the gate were slain seemed to last for ages — before a tidal wave of terror descended on the shore.

8. Walking Dead on Ice. Zombie horror is nothing new these days, but the sheer volume, speed and relentlessness of the tide of White Walkers put Game of Thrones ahead in undead drama. The invasion was dubbed 'The Walking Dead on Ice' by my boyfriend — only the battle scene was far more tense than the AMC show. Thenns were massacred, Walker children direct from nightmares overwhelmed brave mother Karsi (although it was clear she was going to die as soon as she agreed to go with Jon) and the death toll rose faster and faster as Walkers spilled over the cliff and scrambled under the fences.

9. Valyrian steel is just as good as Dragonglass. For one heart-stopping moment I thought Jon was going to be the latest to join the mutant army, as he faced off one of the White Walker army's leaders. With the Dragonglass nowhere to be found and ordinary swords shattered by the Walkers' weapons, a battered Jon looked done for until Valyrian steel saved the day. Longclaw, the sword given to him by Jeor Mormont, destroyed the Walker and saved his life — and the Watch now have another weapon to use against the undead.

10. The dead rose. But as life-saving as Jon's sword was, it's going to take more than Valyrian steel to quash the growing army of White Walkers. Jon, Tormund and other survivors fled, guiltily, as the Walkers finished off those who remained on the shore — only for their victims to rise again. The sheer size of the undead army makes victory seem impossible — how do you defeat an enemy that gets bigger and stronger with every kill? Jon and co may be headed back to the safety Wall — but how long will it stay safe?

There's only two more episodes of season five to go — and the show's pace is getting faster and faster as it nears the finale.

The series is known for putting game-changing events in the eighth episode— the question now is: what's lined up for the final two? One thing's for sure: ten episodes never seems quite enough.

Come out from behind your cushion yet? Share your thoughts below.