It started with Oz Clarke and James May supping a few foaming real ales in Dewsbury, Huddersfield and Stalybridge.

Fast forward seven years and the trains-and-tipples Real Ale Trail has become, for too many, a Booze-a-thon popular with binge drinking hen and stag parties.

The once-peaceful villages of Marsden and Slaithwaite are now thronged on Saturday afternoons by hordes of fancy dress wearing boozers from across the country.

In the spirit of promoting sensible drinking, here is our Ten Commandments-style guide to the Do's and Don'ts of taking part in the Transpennine Real Ale Trail.

The Real Ale Trail 10 Commandments

Real ale trail participants mingle with local residents outside The Riverhead Brewery Tap in Marsden
Real ale trail participants mingle with local residents outside The Riverhead Brewery Tap in Marsden
  • Thou shalt drink REAL* ale, not fizzy lager, nor vodka/rum and coke.
  • Thou shalt wear jeans and a T-shirt, NOT a false bust, blonde wig and fishnet stockings. You may not get served.
  • Thou shalt NOT consider someone's garden wall a suitable place for a wee.
  • Thou shalt go to Prague, Amsterdam or Newcastle for thou stag do. Not Marsden.
  • Thou shalt NOT commit trespass on the railway. Unless you want to get arrested - or killed.
  • Honour the long-suffering - and very tolerant - residents of Slaithwaite, Mirfield, Huddersfield, and Marsden.
  • Thou shalt NOT leave beer glasses on a resident's window ledge or car bonnet.
Real ale trail participants get off the train from Slaithwaite
Real ale trail participants get off the train from Slaithwaite
  • Thou shalt NOT get blind drunk and jump in the river or canal.
  • Thou shalt NOT swear nor scream abuse on the train.
  • Thou shalt take all rubbish home, not leave it on a station platform or chuck it in a garden.

* If they sell it, try Timothy Taylors, Magic Rock, Mallinsons, Leeds Brewery, etc.

Time Line

The pubs of the Real Ale Trail

  1. Batley

    Cellar Bar

  2. Dewsbury

    West Riding Refreshment Rooms

  3. Mirfield

    Navigation Tavern

  4. Huddersfield

    King's Head

  5. Slaithwaite

    The Commercial

  6. Marsden

    The Riverhead Brewery Tap

  7. Greenfield

    The Railway

  8. Stalybridge

    Station Buffet Bar

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