Tripadvisor ratings should be taken with caution.
Among the genuine reviews are the spiteful scrawlings of know-nothings and trolls sat awkwardly next to suspiciously glowing reviews, usually penned by dodgy proprietors in a bid to boost their deservedly dire ratings.
It was with this in mind that I decided to see if the establishments with the lowest ratings were accurately represented in their merciless reviews.
With an average two-star rating from 12 reviews - I wouldn't normally touch anything with less than four stars - Milano, Bradford Road, in Brighouse seemed a fair place to start.
Reviewers described the takeaway formerly of Phoenix Street, as 'an absolute disgrace' and 'truly awful'. It also has two 'excellent' reviews, mind you, so I set off with an open mind - and a bucket just in case.
The chap who took my order was jolly over the phone and in person and because of this I really wanted this pizza and kebab shop not to be a disaster.
Alas, a disaster is exactly what it was.
I ordered a burger and chips, a chicken kebab in a 'naan', and a 'Taste of Milano' pizza.
My colleague Andrew Robinson and I gathered around an office table with our order and rumbling tummies. As the cartons were opened our appetites rapidly evaporated.
Chip shops and takeaways and are very different animals. The former specialise in chips, the latter seldom get them right but these were particularly bad. Soggy, grey and lifeless, these fries tasted and smelled out-of-date. You get a lot for £1.20 but frankly we didn't fancy any more. Not a good start.
At £3.70 with chips it's unlikely to be up to the standard of a Byron Burger or even a Whopper but this quarter pounder was a sorry looking example housing an insipid, rubbery and rather malodorous patty.
I thought my memory was playing up; I opened the box to discover an approximation of a kebab served in a flatbread. The kind of dry, stale flatbreads you buy in bulk from Asian supermarkets. I checked the receipt. Yep, I definitely asked for a naan - did they think I wouldn't notice?
And the meat. Oh dear. I'm not sure how the chicken ended up as thin, desiccated strips. We could only guess it had been cooked, chilled, left overnight and microwaved until not a drop of moisture remained. It was bordering on inedible and served alongside some lugubrious salad it was an absolute car crash of a kebab - and daylight robbery at £6.30 excluding chilli sauce. Yes, you had to pay extra for that.
With a name like 'Milano' you'd guess the emphasis was on pizzas. The 'Taste of Milano' we ordered was probably nothing like the food in the Italy's second city but was something of an improvement on the previous dustbin fodder. It was topped with pepperoni, some pulverised ham, sweetcorn and green peppers. The base seemed fresh even though overall it wasn't quite as good as a standard takeaway pizza. But it was, at £3.90 for a seven-inch version, acceptable.
We ceased eating fairly abruptly pondering what we should actually eat for our teas. The bin was soon full but our stomachs were not.
It is worth noting that Milano has a string of positive reviews on Just Eat; perhaps we - and 10 out of 12 of Trip Advisor reviewers - experienced it on an off day. Just saying.
The Food Standards Agency rated Milano Pizza two out of five (improvement necessary) for hygiene following a visit in April 2017.
The Examiner invited Milano Pizza to comment but it is yet to reply.