SOMETIMES I feel this column reads like the diary of a celebrity stalker. My friends and associates say they turn to it to find out: "Who's he bumped into this week?".

Well, if it's A-list glitz you're hoping for, you're likely to be disappointed this time.

My only celebrity sighting this week has been Leslie Grantham, best known as EastEnder Dirty Den in, er, CostCo in Leeds.

Personal appearances don't get any less glamorous than this, surely? If you're not in the know, CostCo is a huge wholesale place where you can get everything from baked beans to bling.

Everything's cheap and cheerful - it's the last place you expect a TV star to be signing their latest book.

And poor Leslie, the place was deserted. He was just standing around chatting with the woman who was with him.

Never fear, my mum and I were here to liven up his day.

My mum, Teresa, is so two-faced when it comes to meeting celebs. I took her along to see Paul Burrell signing his book and all the way there she grumbled about how he'd betrayed Diana and how she disliked him.

Then, as soon as he gave her a bit of attention and a cuddle, and posed for a photo with her, she decided he was lovely.

Exactly the same thing happened with Leslie. They really took to each other. She'd only come in to look at jumpers and let me treat her to a tin of biscuits.

To have a natter and a photo it was only polite to buy a book and get it signed but at CostCo you don't have to pay for your stuff until you get right round to the checkouts at the end, so I envisaged seeing loads of copies abandoned on random shelves ... well, I'm sure there must have been one or two.

Leslie was pleasant enough - well he kindly told me I'd left my flies undone - but there was absolutely nothing glamorous about him.

He just looked haggard and ordinary, but then he's had a lot of troubles lately, I suppose.

I think I can safely say this one will be my least glittering celebrity stalking this year, though we've still got more than a month to go until the end of 2006.

To get any less glamorous, I'd have to run into Roy Walker from Catchphrase by the skip round the back of my office.

In other news, George Michael's announced he's performing a free concert for NHS staff. He was overwhelmed with gratitude for the star treatment they gave his mum in hospital.

I can relate to that - my mum's been in a lot, too. She has liver problems and osteoporosis. I think nurses - a lot of whom seem to be caring, friendly gay men - are really underrated.

When I've been to see my mum in hospital I've taken a box of chocolates for her and another one for the staff.

They seem so overworked sometimes that you feel reluctant to ask them for anything. It's impossible to believe those reports you read about nurses getting attacked by irate patients.

So good on you, George, for putting them in the limelight for once.